What’s your story?

Clare Assante

Clare Assante

Clare is an accredited Coach and founder of Blindsided by Thought

What's your story

We’re born with no story, our story gets written over time.

Up until the age of about two we are living moment to moment, we flow in and out of moods, our thoughts, feelings and behaviours blend and flow.

After this we start to pick things up from other people and our environment, which teaches us how things ‘should’ be. This is from how people react to us, situations we witness, certain feelings we start to see as uncomfortable and things start to change.

This is when we build our character, who we think we are, who we believe ourselves to be. It’s not a very nice character according to us, we make it out in our mind to be a bit of a loser. We certainly don’t create ourselves the way others see us.

Our story picks up intensity and drama, it stores it and then experiences every new moment through this filter of our past experiences. It becomes more and more solid the more we talk about it and focus on it.

Memories are wonderful things when they’re about a lovely day out or holiday we’ve enjoyed, but those horror stories we repeat over and over in our mind are not fun at all.

The more we think about something, the more it will show up. Our mind is a machine and gives you what seems important, it’s job is to keep us safe so if we keep repeating a memory that is uncomfortable, the machine mine will bring it up to be helpful, not evil.

So how do we live more in the moment and stop these repetitive stories? We see them for what they are..made up stories that we’ve made solid by repeating them.

Once we see them as fairy tales, they can be there or not, it stops us getting sucked into the details. We can zoom out and watch the story play out instead of trying to fix everything as we go.

When we watch a film we don’t try to jump into the screen to save someone, we have some space and can enjoy the ride.

Here’s to being the most incredible author there has ever been, what an amazing creation we’ve all brought to life, well done us!!

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